Before there is change, there is hope for change. Hope taps
into yearnings to alter our lives, to realize our dreams,
end our despair, assure our luck, achieve our desires, validate
our ambitions, or confirm our trust. The meaning of hope can,
for some, also be stretched to include wishful thinking, greedy
obsessions, lust, gullibility, blind faith, false promises,
or ignorance of unwanted consequences. Hope, when expressed
in these extremes, can hurt others when it disregards realities,
overlooks pain and sacrifice, or blocks flexibility. The importance
of hope in our lives is that it is one key to personal change.
We rarely seek change without some expectation of a positive
outcome.
What is hope?
· Hope is a positive forecast, an opening to the
future. Hope is the oil that greases the skids of change
by posing the possibility that we can improve on our lives.
Hope is an attitude, belief, mood, or strategy in which we
overestimate the future, affecting our judgments about uncertain
situations so that we anticipate movement in a positive direction.
· Hope offers a prophesy of success. Positive
overestimates are often self-fulfilling because hope tends
to produce action in the direction of realizing the forecast.
Hope stimulates us to bring energy and commitment to situations
that, in turn, tend to tip the scales in the direction we
want them to go. It may even offer us a head start by suggesting
concrete pathways and options for change.
· Hope springs internal. While our personal
needs, values, and beliefs engender hope, hope gains form
and direction through our relationships and life circumstances.
We base the likelihood of realizing hope on information we
gather to make informed decisions.
What Fosters Hope?
Action is the handmaiden of hope. Just as hope can lead to
action, action can lead to hope. Realizing hope requires that
we move from thinking and observing to acting.
Nurturing hope is a way of reducing the risks involved, so
that anxiety does not inhibit action.
Though becoming more hopeful is easier said than done, people
have been able to raise dim hopes in the following ways:
· Goals energize hope: A goal is a purpose,
motive, or reason for the use of time or for the justification
of an activity. The simplest way to foster hope is to examine
the goals that emerge from our desires and ambitions. The
more these goals are:
Concrete (rather than vague),
Achievable (rather than lofty),
Challenging (rather than easy), and
Appealing (rather than dreary),
the more we are likely to believe that acting on them will
make a difference in our lives. Developing goals begins with
asking, "What do I want?" Goals may also emerge
from values clarification exercises (for example, writing
your own epitaph), imagining our "possible selves,"
considering our self-care needs, or identifying the tasks
that emerge from our attempts to meet these needs. The test
of a useful goal is its ability to motivate constructive action.
· Accept losses and limits: Action to change
something in our lives inevitably means there will be a loss
of something we value. This could include the loss of an important
relationship, a skill, an opportunity, a future, or a dream.
Loss often leads to sadness and anger. Our willingness to
talk honestly about the loss and to own these feelings represents
the initial steps in mourning the loss. By grieving, we acknowledge
the loss as something "that simply happened," open
ourselves to learning something from the experience and how
to get on with our lives, turning our despair into new goals
congruent with a new reality.
· Examine resources: Knowledge of the skills
and strengths we bring to our endeavors generates hope. Reaching
out to others to gain their insight, perspective, experience,
advice, and support are important ways of extending the resources
available to us.
· Think "Can Do": The "little
engine that could" epitomizes how we can generate hope
-- by believing in our ability to act. The following techniques
help us to see ourselves as actors and can kindle hope:
Concentrate on small steps - According to an old
Chinese saying, "the longest journey begins with a
single step." Consider a single step in the direction
you seek. If the step is the right one, you will progress.
If not, you have learned something and you can try another
approach.
Prioritize steps - Review possible steps and choose
those that fit your best guess about what will promote progress
or convey information about appropriate tactics.
Rehearse action - Practice action beforehand to
clarify and firm up your approach. Role playing or practicing
before a mirror or with a tape recorder can offer feedback
before you have to commit yourself to a particular course.
Tolerate errors - For many, the hardest lesson of
all is to learn that we progress when we take action, regardless
of whether we succeed or fail. As is often said, "the
worst thing that can happen is that I might learn something."
Normalize barriers - Achieving one's goals is often
difficult, especially when these goals are challenging and
meaningful. Normalizing barriers to achievement means accepting
barriers as part of the process and even planning for them.
Act ''as if"- When unsure about a goal, pretend
a commitment to it and give yourself an "out"
before you begin. By acting with this "out" in
mind, you gain information without obligating yourself to
staying with the process. This way, you can always say,
"I changed my mind."
Reduce risks - Anticipating hazards and needed resources
can reduce the risks of taking action. Becoming clear about
the risks involved, the potential losses, who can help,
what can go wrong and how you will know these are all helpful
in deciding whether the risk is worthwhile. Taking the time
to pursue your goals in the way you desire promotes a sense
of ownership over the effort. Allowing for shifts in goals
and strategies, a fail-safe point and a back-up position,
and tolerating failure as a learning experience are all
attitudes that allow us to tolerate risk. Ironically, acknowledging
the anxiety that so often attends risk helps to calm us.
Concentrate on small steps - According to an old
Chinese saying, "the longest journey begins with a
single step." Consider a single step in the direction
you seek. If the step is the right one, you will progress.
If not, you have learned something and you can try another
approach.