What does it mean to be self-caring?
What can we do for ourselves that will produce more energy,
more satisfaction, and an alternative to all the addictive
possibilities available to us? What does relaxation have to
do with it?
Self-care requires that we take a daily
preventative approach to the care of our bodies. Relaxation
is an essential underpinning of a healthy lifestyle. Most
of us need help to slow the quickened pace of our lives, having
lost or forgotten the gentle art of calming and centering.
People with the ability to elicit a "relaxation response"
find that they become less reactive to stressful events.
Techniques include: diaphragmatic breathing;
shifting attention from the future or the past to the present;
focusing on "being" rather than "doing";
and concentrating on internal rather than external matters.
Since the mechanisms that affect stress are not directly accessible
to the conscious mind, centering techniques take us to a more
relaxed state. Centering involves the following ways of deliberately
shifting the focus of attention so that we alter our awareness
of our experience in the moment.
Grounding helps us to detach from
upsetting emotional reactions. By shifting our focus away
from ourselves, grounding helps us to control the feelings
associated with threat. Thus we can take measured action rather
than react impulsively. T o ground yourself, pay attention
to some aspect of your physical environment: picture the shape,
size, and color of nearby objects; focus on the smells and
the sounds you perceive; or describe what your body touches.
Attend to breathing: When stressed,
our breathing is usually flat, short, and labored. Our breath
goes into our upper chests or shoulders. This type of breathing
increases tension. Instead, breathe into your stomach at a
natural pace. This is diaphragmatic breathing. In this type
of breathing, the stomach pushes out as the breath goes in,
creating a calming effect. This is the way babies breathe
and how we ourselves breathe when asleep!
Attend to posture: Crooked, stiff,
or off-balance describes the body under stress. When sitting,
our legs may be stiff and both legs and arms may be crossed
in a defensive posture. When standing, we lock our knees.
Our body is tense. Instead, uncross your legs and arms, sit
or stand up straight using your backbone to support your body,
and place your feet firmly on the floor. Relax your legs.
These grounding actions support balance and strength.
Cultivate mindfulness: This centering
technique focuses our attention on what is happening to us
in the immediate moment, rather than attending to other people,
the past, or the future. Close your eyes and pay attention
to your breathing and your body. Becoming gently aware of
what you see, hear, or feel in a deliberate way will, after
a few moments, slow your reaction. You can also do this while
taking a walk or sitting quietly by yourself by focusing on
your physical sensations and breathing.
The following instructions elicit the
relaxation response for many people:
Choose a mental image (a word, number, phrase, or visual picture)
or your own breathing on which to focus;
Find a safe place where you won't be interrupted and position
yourself comfortably;
Close you eyes when you are ready;
Taking slow and natural breaths, focus on your image in time
with the breaths;
Acknowledge distracting thoughts (which are normal) and go
back to your focus; and work up to repeating this procedure
10 to 20 minutes, once or twice a day.
Choose a mental image (a word, number, phrase, or visual picture)
or your own breathing on which to focus;