Self-soothing safely reduces physical and emotional arousal
that occurs when we are stressed by negative events. These
options work partly because they distract us from the event
and partly because they have a direct affect with how our
body functions.
Attend to breathing:
When we are stressed our breathing is usually flat, short,
and labored. In this case our breath goes into our upper chests
or shoulders. This type shallow breathing into our upper torso
increases the stress on our bodies. On the other hand, breathing
slowly and deeply into our abdomen relieves stress. Sometimes
called "belly" breathing, it calms us by influencing
the autonomic branch of the nervous system. The technique
appears simple. The stomach pushes out as the breath goes
in. This is the way babies breathe and how we ourselves breathe
when asleep! The problem is that we increase our stress by
breathing into our upper torso.
Grounding helps us to
detach from emotional reactions to upsetting events. By shifting
our focus away from the event, grounding helps us to gain
control of our arousal. To ground yourself, pay attention
to some neutral aspect of your physical environment: picture
the shape, size, and color of nearby objects; focus on the
smells and the sounds you perceive; or describe what your
body touches when sitting.
Attend to posture: Crooked,
stiff, or off-balance describes the body under stress. When
sitting, our legs may be stiff and both legs and arms may
be crossed in a defensive posture. When standing, we may lock
our knees. Our body is tense. Instead, uncross your legs and
arms, sit or stand up straight using your backbone to support
your body, and place your feet firmly on the floor. Relax
your legs. These postural shifts support balance and strength
and distract us from the stress-inducing event.
Cultivate mindfulness:
This centering technique focuses our attention on what is
happening to us in the immediate moment, rather than attending
to other people, the past, or the future. Close your eyes
and pay attention to your breathing and your body. Becoming
gently aware of what you see, hear, or feel in a deliberate
way will, after a few moments, slow your reaction. You can
also focus on your physical sensations and breathing while
taking a walk or sitting quietly by yourself.
