What does it mean to be addicted? How do you get "clean"
and sober? Is it possible to reduce cravings?
Addiction and Habituation
You are physically dependent upon alcohol or drugs when:
You need the substance to reduce your withdrawal cravings;
You are not able to control when and how you use the substance;
You require an increasing amount of the substance to become
intoxicated; and
You spend an increasing amount of time seeking out the substance.
Common signs of addiction include hangovers, blackouts, poor
health, tremors, mood swings, alienation &from family
and friends, and involvement with law enforcement. Depending
on the level of dependency, some alcoholics and drug addicts
require detoxification. Detoxification from alcohol and
drugs requires medical supervision!
When the dependence is on an activity or a ritual, it is
called a "habituation." Habituations include: codependency,
sexual and relationship "addictions," spending compulsions,
binge eating, gambling, and raging. Though usually not quite
as dangerous or physically debilitating as substance dependence,
these rituals are integrated into one's lifestyle and are
as difficult to change.
The Immediate Problem
There is a natural ambivalence when making any change. In
particular, giving up addicting substances and habituating
activities involves the loss of much that has been familiar.
Questions about self-worth and doubts about one's ability
to change are likely to arise. These reactions can shake one's
determination and create strong cravings for the familiar
addictive or habituating behavior.
Tasks in a Sobriety Program
Addictions and habituations are formidable! The good news
is that their power to influence us lessens with consistent
positive attention. Addictions and habituations become less
overwhelming as we develop a sobriety program focused on acquiring
self-care skills, receiving available emotional support, and
accessing necessary resources. Craving and impulsive reactions
do lessen over time, but only in response to strict maintenance
of sobriety.
Most people require substantial pain to force them to face
their self-absorption, their addictive and habitual cravings,
and their denial of the negative consequences of these addictions.
Such pain might include a life out-of-control, physical or
mental illness, shattered relationships, families in disarray,
bankruptcy, violence, jail, and emotional, physical, or sexual
abuse. The point at which we are unwilling to tolerate any
more pain represents our "bottom line." Change requires
the following:
Staying sober. Strict maintenance of sobriety is
essential. Containing habituating activity is equally
necessary. Sobriety requires the recognition that reliance
on chemicals or rituals is a form of self-abuse. In the
past, this reliance has been automatic and very effective
in eliminating emotional pain from the stressful events
in our lives. As a result, we have not learned from our
life experience, nor developed the skills needed to face
life's challenges. Instead, we have blocked our emotional
development. Change requires acknowledging our addictions
and habituations, accepting them as previously necessary
but no longer fitting, and finding a way to give them up.
Getting help. Most find that sobriety is hard to
attain and maintain alone. Dealing with negative emotional
experiences and other situations that pose a threat to sobriety
is the primary function of psychotherapy during this critical
stabilization stage. Groups are also very helpful. There
are recovery groups for many kinds of addiction and habituation.
(Directory of self-help groups) Attend one or more regularly!
They:
• Provide social support to combat isolation;
• Create a positive identity to replace the
legacy of shame;
• Puncture addictive pride and self-deceiving
pretensions;
• Provide a language where one did not exist
to discuss what had not been discussible;
• Offer a cognitive context for self-care;
and
• Promote a model of self-governance to replace
self-defeating and self-destructive action.
Admitting our role in the problem. Acknowledge your
loss of control, how this loss contributes to your distress,
and how it affects you and those closest to you.
Exchanging the victim role for a survivor's role. Recognize
that you are not responsible for what has happened to you,
but you are responsible for what you do about it. Let go
of shame and make the attitude shifts you need to move on.
Developing a disciplined plan. Practice self-care,
reach out to others, and access necessary resources. This
approach helps to limit cravings and restore hope. With
addiction, we tend not to practice self-care. Diminished
or absent self-care skills, vague boundaries, and limited
access to feelings all allow self-abuse. An active focus
on a healthy lifestyle is an alternative to addiction. A
disciplined plan includes:
• Self-care activities, including exercise,
relaxation, sufficient sleep, and a good diet;
• Relapse prevention - identifying "red
flags" and dangerous situations;
• Learning how to manage stress; and
• Acquiring assertion skills.
You need the substance to reduce your withdrawal cravings;